Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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