I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
