Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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