I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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