I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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