I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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