can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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