I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i drank out of a bidet.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
