party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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