sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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