The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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