According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
