so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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