Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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