Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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