The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
