i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
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