so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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