dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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