Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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