Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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