New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
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He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
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Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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