just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize