Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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