so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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