Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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