Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
