ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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