Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize