CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize