I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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