i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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