An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
A bitchslap is in order.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize