How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
My feet surprised me
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
