Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
