xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
