Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
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Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
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I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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