have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
