It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
