I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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