Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
