did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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