Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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