I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
