Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Your penis caused this!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
