I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
