Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
