Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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