Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
