Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
