Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
