We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
