I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
