Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
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The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
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I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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