Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
vagina is talking i cant
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
