If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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