he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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