Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
someone owes me an orgasm
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
