Tell her she can't have a vagina
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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