I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
