Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
