I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
