ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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