K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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