omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Vodka?
Forever.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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